Time to Wait...

Actively or otherwise

Time, that most illusory of human constructs, is upon me again. And I wait…

Today’s society is often described in terms of instant gratification. Waiting is a thing of the past, an intolerable hangover from a bygone day. Modern tech sold on the back of convenience, expediting the humdrum, freeing up…

Freeing up what exactly?

Freeing up your time, is the blindly accepted narrative, but time for what? Ideally, self-indulgence, creativity, family, leisure, community. All of the concepts we acknowledge as restorative requirements, and ways to satisfy our souls. But, in all honesty, that ‘extra’ time is rarely ours to spend.

Each moment saved is swallowed up in our bid to survive. The prescribed art of living is a luxury most struggle to afford, so we exchange one construct for another – our time, our life’s precious breath, for an ideological currency, a trading chip. Extra time simply equates to a few extra pennies.

If, however, we stop.

And breathe.

We soon see that we’re surrounded by gentle reminders that this way of ‘living’ is unnatural, unhealthy, and unsustainable. Indeed, some things in life necessitate the erstwhile-indulged act of waiting, and are arguably better for it, the outcome more gratefully received.

They are not instantaneous.

They cannot be rushed.

They simply require time.

That most precious commodity we no longer possess, and often, can no longer afford. Irrespective, each and every one of us will face a situation, an unmitigated happenstance, when time is required, and wait we must. By its very nature, it’s beyond our control, and unlikely to meet our timely needs, to fit in with our own personal schedule, rendering the wait unequivocal.

Waiting…

…to receive exam results

…to secure a new job

…to own your own home

…to be granted permission

…to eat home-grown food

…to be reunited

…to get the all-clear

Life’s journey takes many forms. Some choose the broad open highway of well-trodden experience, sure of their destination. Others prefer a more circuitous route, shaped by side quests and meanderings, with no clearly defined end-point. Others still are caught with a foot in the past, unable to imagine an unhindered, untainted future. Yet waiting is universal, no matter your direction, your path, your focus. The import of the outcome of such a psychological detainment varies wildly, it’s significance often directly related to the one compelled to wait, to anticipate the future.

Many enshrine this waiting time with inactivity; a veritable limbo state for the preoccupied and frustrated, and for those unable to focus, unable to live until the waiting is done. Sleep becomes a torment, our bodies in a constant state of alert - cortisol flowing like biblical wine, a hair-trigger primed. Akin to the kettle that never boils, an inactive wait is interminably protracted. An exercise in endurance and attrition.

Sometimes we’re aware of life passing us by as we twiddle our thumbs. A sense of disconnect, of being one step removed, as we ponder our fate. We exert no control over the outcome, seem paralysed by anticipation, our world placed on hold, but to what end? Guilt and resentment pull up a chair as we bemoan the time lost, the life squandered.

But waiting is not our enemy. It doesn’t have to be all consuming, at the expense of our mental and physical acuity. We have lost the knack of embracing these unexpected departures from the norm, of welcoming the time to reflect, to regroup, to reprioritise, to escape from mundanity, and ultimately, to simply be, albeit temporarily.

If wait we must, and our focus is thready, our capacity diminished, let’s take a few moments to indulge our creativity, and weave some magic into an otherwise redundant space. Let’s smell the roses, taste the coffee, see the light, hear the joy, and touch the universe itself with our corporeal form, our open minds, our loving hearts, and our ethereal souls.

Today, I am waiting, have been waiting, and continue to wait, for a decision that will have a profound impact on me, on my family, and on our lives. I have been incapacitated by anticipation, distracted by wild imaginings, and driven to my wits end in an attempt to conjure psychic influence.

So, here I am…

Stopping.

Taking a breath.

Living this moment.

Gently reigning in my wandering mind as it scrabbles to predict, to pre-empt the future.

A decision will be made, and life will go on, changed by the very process itself, if nothing else. Until then,

I am here.

I am now.

I am free.

And so, (actively) I wait…

***

Time slows,

And the world stands still,

As I wait my life away.

Kids grow,

And forge their own paths,

As I fail to seize the day.

Gaia breathes,

Her patience boundless,

As I awaken to play.

Balance restored,

And life re-engaged,

As I remember the way.

Lesson learned,

To go with the flow,

As I live, come what may.